Let’s make the (swimming) world a better place

I would like for someone to explain swimming pool etiquette to me. And then I would like that person to assess my swimming and tell me which lane I should swim in. Last but not least I would like that person to assess all other swimmers on earth and assign them their own placement, and then we can all be happy and life can go on.

There’s nothing worse than trying to rock your workout and have someone too slow get in the way. But there’s also nothing worse than ME trying to rock MY workout and have someone too slow get in MY way!

Every time I go to the pool it’s a battle. I’m not at all Slow, and I’m faster than Medium. But if a self-proclaimed Fast is doing TT’s or quick sets I could become that person. You know, the one in the way.

I arrive at the pool early, shower, and as soon as the lifeguards allow I claim a lane and start immediately to establish the speed with the goal of scaring off leisurely swimmers to one of the assigned slower lanes. But EVERY.SINGLE.TIME someone with a snorkel mask or who enjoys sidestroke or who simply prefers turtle stroke* ends up in my lane.

Do they really think that they’re swimming the same speed I am? Do they really think they’re a Medium given the sample present? Is it the same thing as teenage girls thinking they’re a size 2 just because they can close the zipper when they suck it in? Perhaps we’ll never know, but I would like to get to the bottom of it.

I would hate to frustrate someone else in the pool, but I feel like I’ve paid my dues and perhaps it’s time that I graduate to the next lane. Hopefully the Fasties are patient with me and maybe my graduation will even help inspire their own!


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