Thank Goodness For The Peanut Butter

Dear Self,

Sometimes I’m pretty impressed with you. I think about how much you hated running, even just as cross training, growing up. During conditioning you always plotted your turn to sprint while coaches were watching someone else (thus being too preoccupied to yell FASTER!). I think about how you have asthma, but don’t let it stop you. I think about how many mornings the “tiredness” or “fatigue” was probably a hangover, but you ran anyway. I reminisce about how many times you wanted pizza and ice cream for dinner, and made it so. Well, that one doesn’t work. But truly.

6 months ago you had never swam in open water.

7 months ago you hadn’t ridden a bike in about 15 years (minus a jaunt around Stanley Park, twice).

1 year ago you qualified for Boston, and that was enough at the time.

2 years ago you hadn’t swam laps as exercise since childhood. 1 year ago you started only because running with a stress fracture was no longer an option.

3 years ago you trained worked out only to burn off calories consumed at the bar the night before.

3.5 years ago you and running had just been introduced, but weren’t yet friends.

It’s easier to keep going when you can remember the progress you’ve made, so drink it in. Take it while you can get it, because there will certainly be greater challenges around the bend. You’ve already jumped from celebrating these victories to feeling unsettled if you miss your splits by seconds or if weights feel harder than they “should”, no matter what the reason. You recently edited an early blog post regarding Kona because you had lied. You most certainly do want to get there, are willing to do the work, and now aren’t afraid to say it out loud tell the interwebs anymore.

Keep dreaming of Ali’i Drive, but slow down and savor now, too. To get there, you’ll have to make all of your moments happening right now count.

Self, remember to be lighthearted. Laugh at the time you thought you were only supposed to swim with one fin. Learn from the race where you doggie paddled a significant portion of the swim. Look back on winter morning runs with frozen fingers and toes, and smile. Be grateful for the people you’ve met and the friends you’ve made, and use them as inspiration. Thank your body for following suit in what you ask of it. Love every second that you are given the opportunity to work hard and be better. Savor early mornings, late nights, and every container of peanut butter than you are going to experience along the way. Thank goodness for the peanut butter.




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