THE RUN – 4:16:33 // 9:47min/mi average
As I ran out of T2 I saw my friends and family again, and all I could think about was whether they knew I’d had struggles on the bike. I mean, I don’t know how they would know because I certainly didn’t take time to stop and tell them! But I’d told them that I expected to come in under 6 hours with 100% certainty, and I didn’t. I worried about them worrying about me.
The run course is a double loop with an extra tail at the end. The loop being about 12.5 miles (each time). The first 4ish miles are on packed gravel trail has a few long gradual climbs and a few short steeper ones. It’s not extremely technical, but it does wind back and forth and up and down with more intensity than a wide and paved road would.
The gravel trail ends near Green Lake where you run along the boardwalk and then onto a paved trail for a mile or so. Next is long out and back along the highway (which was still closed to traffic) for a couple of miles. The road is slightly off camber and there are a couple long rolling ups and downs, but the view of Green Lake is worth it! After running back there’s more paved trail that winds through the trees (shade!), alongside the stream, beside a few housing developments, and right past the finish line for round 2.
The run is kind of a blur to me – all I know is that I let myself off the hook very early, and I regret it very much. I don’t think I made it 2 miles before I convinced myself that my stomach hurt and stopped for my FIRST EVER mid-race porta potty trip. The real problem was that I felt sorry for myself, so rather than try to run through it I let myself off the hook.
For the entire first loop I took periodic walk breaks – they may have started as “walking through the aid station” but each one lasted longer and longer and longer. I tried to stop a couple of times to get paper towel for my nose, which was still bleeding, but some of the aid stations wanted me to stop and sit down. If they weren’t willing to give me a paper towel for the road I was off!
I hated everything. I felt disappointed in my day and angry at myself for having given in, but I couldn’t muster a real rally. I didn’t see any point in trying to kill myself now to post a time I wouldn’t be thrilled about anyway (#badchoices).
I started thinking about how much fun I usually have doing this sport; even when I hate it I’m having the time of my life! But in these moments I wasn’t. So I decided if I couldn’t have the race I had trained for and wanted, it was okay to make it more fun. I committed to getting to where I knew I’d see my friends, family, and coach next, but at that point if I still hated everything I would allow myself to stop and tell them and figure out how to proceed.
The funny thing is, as soon as I saw them I didn’t hate anything anymore (other than my bloody nose and tired legs). I waved and ran by and that was the end of feeling sorry for myself.
The second loop wasn’t much better pace-wise, but I could finally smile about being out there. I became grateful to be there again, and it didn’t hurt that I picked off a couple of girls in my AG in the final 6 miles.
I ran down the finish chute and laughed out loud as I saw the clock ticking. I could speed up and beat my time from last year – or I could have an epic story about finishing 2 separate and completely different Ironmans with the exact same number on the clock. Shockingly I did have some (small amount of) pride left so I kicked for the last bit and came in at 11:35:55, 2 seconds faster than last year. But this year I did hear the announcer proclaim me an Ironman.
OVERALL – 11:35:55 // 11th AG
The hours and days after the race were good. After I got out of medical for my bloody nose my people retrieved my stuff while I limped to the shower. We had good food and good wine that night, and celebrated the day, the year, and being together. I got to enjoy Whistler without worry or guilt, including champagne, oysters, and an amazing dinner that completely took my mind off of Ironman.
And since then, in recounting my race to others and putting on a smile for their sake, I’ve convinced myself that I’m okay with the day. Truly, I’m content with it.
You see, there’s really no other option. IYes, I’m disappointed, but the only thing I did wrong was have a bad attitude, and I’ve forgiven myself for that. Life’s too short.
Next time (or the next 100 times) I want to give up or give in Ironman #2 will come flooding back to me, and then I’ll keep going.